The Break Is Over
I caught COVID in January, and since then it's been a fairly disruptive year. Suffice it to say that's my excuse for not having written for a while, and for losing a lot of the discipline I so proudly developed.
I needed motivation to get writing again; to become more disciplined in the routines I created to help fuel my body, mind, and soul, and break me out of the habits that drain my energy.
Part fatigue, part writer's block, I couldn't get out of the funk holding me back. Some would say my throat chakra was blocked. If only I could get back to meditating on a regular basis, I might be able to fix that.
Unfortunately, the fatigue created an opening for invasive thoughts of self-doubt to creep in from the shadows while I wasn't looking.
What right did I have to start this blog?
Why did I even start it in the first place?
Was it to fortify my psyche, or to feed my ego?
Do I really think I'd be able to help anyone?
What I needed was a kick in the ass. A jump start, if you will. A reason.
A deadline.
June 24, 2022 was the 1 year anniversary since the dream that changed my life for the better and for the good. This anniversary should be as good a motivator as any, but the self-doubt had me asking: Was what I experienced one year ago even real?
*sigh*
What I needed... what I really needed, was the same thing I needed a year ago.
A sign, and not just any sign. A sign specific to me.
What is a sign? A cosmic coincidence that we believe to be divinely inspired, and individualized to meet the arbitrary notions of what brings us meaning.
Serendipities.
Omens.
Synchronicities.
I needed help; something to tell me if I was on the right path.
I think most people know what an omen is; a sometimes good, sometimes bad sign that usually portends some ominous event.
I didn't really understand the term "synchronicity" until recently. Unfortunately, when people ask the difference between a synchronicity and serendipity, I have been struggling to communicate the difference. But here's what I think it boils down to.
Both are types of coincidences, with the main difference being the following question:
Is the outcome something tangible (serendipity), or purely intrinsic (synchronicity)?
Here is an example of a synchronicity. Perhaps you miss someone who used to love butterflies. Perhaps one day a butterfly flew by at the exact time you were thinking about them. This is a synchronicity. Things that happen at the same time, and have meaning to you. To you, this butterfly has a very sentimental significance, but a butterfly may mean something completely different to someone else.
By contrast...
One of my favorite Christmas movies is Serendipity, with Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack. In it, Mr. Cusack plays the manic but charming "Jon", an archetype on which he built his whole career. Ms. Beckinsale plays "Sara", and is just... simply... magnetic. The plot can be summed up as a "Will they? Won't they?" with the two meeting and going their separate ways in the first act, only to test whether or not their initial attraction is actually love that's meant to be. The rest of the movie is an anxiety-driven game of cat and mouse. Until finally, in the third act, when *SPOILER ALERT* it turns out the their meeting was indeed serendipitous, and that their love was "באַשערט• (bashert)".
And so it was that on June 24, 2022 I had to bring my car in for service. This one was going to be a few hours, so it was the perfect time to make good on my challenge to start writing again by my deadline.
I set up a workstation in the service waiting area, got out my laptop and AirPods, and started writing about the events that took place starting one year ago to the day (a story I'm still trying to find the best way to tell).
As I was writing, a gentleman came and sat 3 chairs away from me reading his book. Mind you, this is a huge waiting area, and yet instead of sitting in one of the big comfy couches or chairs in the waiting room next door, he chose to sit at the same counter and in the same uncomfortable seats as me.
I wrote for a while taking micro stretch breaks here and there, but I was otherwise pretty focused. It wasn't until the guy next to me got up to use the restroom that i decided I could use a real break, too.
When I got up to stretch, I noticed the book he was reading. It was about dream interpretation.
So, naturally, when he got back, my nosy self asked about his book. He proceeded to tell me he is a retired psychologist, specializing in dream interpretation. He told me he is a big believer that dreams having significant meaning in our lives. He told me he is a believer in synchronicities. He told me he believed in the spiritual aspects of life that I began to believe in earnest a year ago.
It was then that I told him that today, June 24th, is 1 year to the day that I had a dream that changed my life.
What followed was a spectacular conversation about my dream, Jungian psychology & spirituality, dimensionality, the seen and unseen that affect our lives, energy, ancient cultures, synchronicities.
Then his car was ready.
Then my car was ready.
For a moment we reveled in the synchronicity that had taken place. We thanked each other, said "it was nice to meet you", and said goodbye.
The whole way home I thought about 3 things.
1) The ride was so much safer and smoother now that I got new tires and a 4-wheel alignment.
2) It's 90 degrees, my A/C was on full blast, and the loud noise wasn't there anymore.
3) Meeting John the retired psychologist was just the sign, synchronicity, and kick in the ass I needed to get back in the rhythm.
Thank you, John.